The All New Series: Confessions of a Shopaholic Shoeaholic

An adage (adapted from Carrie Bradshaw from The Carrie Diaries) goes: When a door closes, a shoe box opens. Well, in my case, it's two. Alright, I lied. It's actually three. Okay, let's get real. It's four.

Yeah, it's four.

Do you know what I had been doing for the past few months? (Hint: regarding shoes) Immensely scrolling through the pages of Solestruck and Nastygal whilst praying to Jesus that my shoes are still encrypted (well, in this case, it's the webpage, not the shoes itself) with the word 'In stock'. I could've spend this time reading Man Repeller repetitively (not that I didn't, but still), or well, scrolling through the pages of both ASOS and Shopbop, clicking on the 'Save to wishlist' button for every single piece of garment I found attractive (in man repelling terms). Or rather something more productive, generating ideas for my upcoming portfolio (which I happened to accidentally threw them away, omg) or new OOTDs for my subsequent posts.

But no, I didn't spend my time productively. I was just there, sitting right in front of my MacBook (and also my mobile device), hoping - whilst praying real hard - that a Black Friday sale would miraculously happen in Solestruck.

And nope, it didn't happen (just in case you would like to know).

Flashback yesterday: 'Why does this always happen to me?', I thought to myself, whilst strutting limping barefooted - with blisters all over my feet five to be precise, in which I counted - back home with my Candela velvet pumps on one hand and my Alexander Wang Rockie on the other, 'Why do I always do this? Purchasing countless amount of shoes that doesn't fit well on me?'.

The Devil dictated: 'That's because shoes are your crack. And a few blisters ain't gonna bring you down. I mean, it's just a few blisters, come on. You love shoes, and you need more shoes. Beauty over comfort. That's it. Period.'

The Angel then appeared and responded: 'Oh please, it's not you, it's just that the shoes are really, really convincing. Who wouldn't fall in love with a pair of new booties? But then again, it might be you, since you always resonate around shoes and shoes and more shoes.'

'Thank you so much, that really helped,' in which I replied sarcastically.

The Angel has fallen. Now I have two devils.

'Awesome'.

But anyway, the point is that whilst limping, I became conscious that I don't abide to the saying 'If the shoe fits' (I know there's no inter-relation between the phrase and the issue but it's just an imagery to describe the situation best). Instead, I inaugurated and followed the mantra 'If the shoe doesn't fit, jab your foot in till it fits'. And this, resulted into the proliferation of one/two-sizes-too-small shoes I own.

'Beauty over comfort. Yeah... Well, at least you still look fashionable barefooted while clutching 'em babies under your arms.'

In clockwise direction:

A) Superga 2950 in Ecru, S$69.90

B) Jeffrey Campbell Daltrey in Floral (but I still prefer it to be called 'paint of life') via Nastygal, $150

C) Aldo studded wedge sneakers in White, which reminds me of how much I want a pair of Isabel Marant, S$129

D) Candela Green velvet flats via Saks, something I (accidentally and casually) snagged off the shelves during their sale, S$159

If you think that's all, wait till you see my ever perpetual shoe wish on Solestruck...

The Bag Issue

And yet it is titled with the repetitively ubiquitous caption because, don't you just think that it is efficacious in getting the issue (note the pun) across? No?

You might all go 'omg not another bag post', or 'seriously, when will this ever end?'. But let's just bear with me with the yet-another-bag-post, alright? I'm doing this post because I've went on an endeavor to discover several purses that would bring about convenience during times of confessions-of-a-Shopaholic moment, yet not compromising to one's magnificence (lol).

If by this time, you could guess what type of bags I'm featuring, I will award you with the trophy of intelligence and clairvoyance.

Yes, it is the Cross Body Satchel. And I just realized the above collage gave away the answer..

Okay fine, I lied. The actual reason to why this post was concocted was not exactly about the aforementioned reason, but it's due to the fact that I am dried on ideas that renders me to cook up a post that I am by far, the most capable in (confession).

Okay, at least there was an eighth of truth to the (doubly) aforementioned reason. I mean, how can a cross body satchel not aid and improves one's life when their hands (and arms maybe) are busily occupied with shopping bags?

From top left in clockwise direction:

1) Rebecca Minkoff mini MAC bag, $195

2)Versus studded bag, $395

3) Mini Boy Chanel, a whopping amount of S$5,810

4) Givenchy Obsedia in royal blue, $1,555

5) Topshop panther embossed sling, a Coachella-worthy bag for S$79

And lastly, 11 inch Cambridge Satchel for S$204

We all can make room for new bags, right?

Appliqué

Above exhibit, something I espy on while googling 'H&M S/S 2013 Collection Preview' last October. And it was just there, the image, flashing the ineffably structured, applique filled white frayed vest. I was flabbergasted. My mouth was hanging freely, literally, almost like a toddler, ready for his next spoonful of oats. I glared (ogled probably) at the image for like about, two hours I presume (if I were to recall it correctly), whilst having images that this Isabel Marant-esque vest is already hanging in my closet, as though I was gifted with clairvoyance.

 'This is the perfect summer vest!', I exclaimed, 'I need this vest!'.

Flash forward five months: The freshly baked applique vest weighing ten pounds teetered into the stores of H&M, searched for the Spot - the location where hundreds of beyond-H&M-priced garments formerly stood - and rested at its rightful position.

Me: Sashaying down the stores pretending to be walking down Fifth Avenue whilst emulating Carrie Bradshaw (okay, I didn't exactly do that but, it gives off a better narration and imagery this way). Saw the vest from a hundred meters away, shrieked, sprinted towards it, grabbed it, almost dropped it because I wasn't anticipating it to be a thousand pounds, checked the price tag, left myself in dismay.

The vest was plastered with a hefty price of three hundred.

'How am I going to fork out three hundred dollars?', I contemplated, 'I need this vest, but I need those Zara blazers as well, and that Balenciaga bracelet, and that Acne wallet and leather jacket, and that...'

I eventually hung it back to it's original (not rightful this time round, definitely not) Spot with a heavy heart, having the taste of melancholy (that I could almost achieve the literal taste of sickening bitterness). I turned my back to it, staggered and stumbled on something, turned back, saw it staring back at me with those disappointed, puppy eyes. I sighed.

Flash forward two months after aforementioned incident: This masterpiece is finally hanging in the midst of my closet, finally at its supposed position. I'm pretty sure I am clairvoyant. Okay, I kid. What I did: Went with a hypothesis that H&M will always have 50% off for those clothing beyond-H&M-priced-because-of-its-remarkable-textiles (if I'm that affirmative, how is it still a hypothetical point? Whatever). Elicited this information, made use of it, had a perennial attitude, and BAM! There goes my panties.

Come to think of it, who would actually wear something that weighs as heavy as the Margiela jacket, but isn't Margiela? 

Well, that's me.

H&M Appliqué Vest from S/S 2013

Styling 101 102

This love-hate ambiguous relationship with clothes resurfaces when I met the banana embroidered striped tank. Costly, yet fashionable. Unelaborated, yet a casual classic. Somewhat not worthy, yet it's an essential piece (aka a must have). But why, why did I eventually cave in to forking out $130 for it? Why did I?

And that's a rhetorical question.

No, I kid. There's actually an answer to that 'rhetorical' question. A) The benefits of overly splurging on this tank (Note: I'm not a full time working adult, despite the fact that I'm receiving the measly allowance on a regular basis as a soldier, lol) outweighs the costs tremendously (false answer) and B) It's from a collaboration between Man Repeller and PJK (Patterson J. Kincaid) (hard truth that would actually make me pay that sum for a tank top). Which renditioned the fact that I frantically (yes I did) scrolled through Shopbop for ages after PJK released them in their stores (why don't they just do international shipping? That would have saved me from the panic attacks I suffered and endured).

The process of purchase (which I found it hilarious due to some unexpected, yet predictable, events from happening): Screaming (and I literally mean shrieking at the top of my voice) the omnipresently and commonly used profanity (aka the big F) during my night guard duty (which happened at 3 am, mind you), going 'OMG OMG OMG FINALLY' repetitively whilst filling in my card details and being 130 bucks broke the next moment. That isn't the funny part though. What made me chuckled was that this process rendered my buddy to get freaked out because he thought I saw, you know, a ghost. Which I casually replied 'Oh, it's just that my item is finally in stock. A banana tank top.'.

After the process: Sitting down during my sentry duty, constantly contemplating why I made the hastily thought through thoroughly (omg, wow) purchase, while partly hating myself slightly for forgoing the Zara blazer I had been eyeing for. That is why I came to a consensus with me, my brain and my heart. 'I need to make a styling post, otherwise my 'sacrifice' would be at vain. And I can get a +1 for my blog post. Smart me, yay me! Go me!'. Those, I swear, were my exact thoughts.

At least you guys know the reason behind the concoction of this post.

#1 exhibit: Casual chic mode (double Cs, think Chanel, lol jk. But still, think of Chanel when you get the pun) activated with Zara denim jeans and it's yellow suit blazer. Followed by a classic minaudière, which surprisingly (lol, maybe not quite) was also manufactured by Zara. Brogues are from Miista though.

#2 exhibit: Emulating Coachella chic (oops, the double Cs again!) with a velour printed trousers from Zara and some Charles and Keith sandals, because we ain't gonna wear no shoes (but I love 'em high cut sneakers though, so that option might be excluded) for Coachella! Don't ask me why, but I always pictured Coachella as a music festival by the beach. So there you have it, my reason.

Last (but not least, the most hilarious) exhibit: In H&M faux leather vest, Topshop camo sneakers, my trusty (and OMG favorite most) Alexander Wang rockie bag and Topshop giraffe printed shorts to give the who 'Omg I am visiting the safari look'. Not to forget that I could also bear my freshly tanned Victoria Secret's look-a-like (think Karlie) legs.

And look at 'em arms gurllll bitches be buff now.

Imran as Photographer

Go Green

So apparently, I am currently reciting reasons to why I am not doing a regular post update every week. Here are as follows:

A) Army life is tiring and I need my weekend for recuperating.

B) My photographer is delaying the shoots for the next post which I am dyinggggg to do! (lol)

C) Lacking of substantial inspiration as to what I can (and should) do an update on.

D) I would rather opt for rolling on the bed doing nothing as compared to sitting upright on it, while typing away and trying to get inspired.

And the list of goes on for my procrastination...

And as I am frantically clicking slamming typing on my black embossed Mac keyboard during my last few hours of book out (lol booking in like later, which is really sad considering I'm going to have a tough Thursday and Friday...), I felt that the latter part of option D is giving me the kick. I am literally getting the 'Omg eureka!' moment right now, which is relatively weird considering the fact that I'm actually suppose to produce a blog post content from the start, but I'm only doing the image collage right now. And as I ramble on continuously, let me get into the main crux of this topic for a, yet again, collage cum styling post.

You may question, how the hell do I get inspiration from typing a post that would actually end up getting me from here to nowhere? To be honest, I'm not that sure either. Perhaps whilst typing the aforementioned redundant crap about how I love procrastinating (yet being renditioned to whip up a blog post, not because I have to, but because I want to, and love to for all of you. Awww, I know that. ♥), I recalled a particular outfit that I came across in Style Men's magazine. It was something that I've never thought of doing, never ever (everrrr, I insist on repeating), nor even the slightest bit of putting it to a test.

Okay, I lied, I bought a camo printed sneakers from Topshop a few months back.

But the point is, camo was nothing I intended to indulge in. But upon seeing that editorial piece, perhaps I was struck by a ray of holy light (aka I was enlightened but I prefer using the former) whereby I've decided to bequeath my obdurated self. Is it because I'm starting to intuitively transcend my 'comfort' zone of 'being synonymous', or is it because I've simply chosen to conform to trend?

From left in clockwise direction: Acne green leather jacket which I am dying for; patiently waiting for sale (lol, ain't no bitch has two thousand dollars at my dispense), H&M for Water Aid palm tree tee, Comme des Garçons camo trousers from the men's section, iPhone 5 (sadly, the casing only) from Dannijo, holographic sunnies from Le Specs and the Charlotte Olympia banana leaf pandora clutch which all of you should know, and is something that I wish to attain.

Images all from Google.

Closet Clearance

Just a quick update of my selling page with new clothes that yearn for better homes! Do click away  here!


Image by John Tan

'Em Onesies

'Should I or should I not?', I pondered while staring at those (gorgeous yet manrepelling) denim dungarees hanging in the store at Zara. 'I want it so I can be a legit manrepeller!', I thought, 'But why is dungarees going on trend this season? Ugh I hate this!'

Eventually I was compelled into buying it. As usual.

I gleefully strutted out of the store carrying the overly dyed navy paperbag embossed with Zara, and to my dismay, I caught 2 people wearing dungarees. 'Just my luck', I sighed, but I knew it was bound to happen. The trend is bound to happen.

This might be the only time that I've conformed to trend. But deep down inside me, I'm sure that this purchase wasn't due to trend conforming, but to manrepelling conforming.

And I am super lazy to continue elaborating this post. So bye.

Lazy Oaf Google Eye Beanie, Zara Onesies and Shirt from Men's section and Topshop Box Bag.
Imran as Photographer