As we move past 2014 and hit a brand new year of 2015, we often find ourselves performing something we seldom do - A reflection of the past year that includes everything (*most; since we have a tendency to forget) we have done: our actions, our successes, our mistakes, our downfalls, our purchases, our achievements, etc. By reflecting, we learn from our past mistakes and grow from them, or we'd learn not to be complacent if we are reviewing from our accomplishments. We often believe that by reflecting on something significant - especially in this case, since it is a whole series of activities that lasted a year long - is a form of exhibition of us being responsible and mature. If we fail to do so, it proves that we are child-like and immature.
However, not all of us does a daily reflection or keep a religious journal routine. We are often packed with schedules and duties and other responsibilities of more significance that we fail to reflect on a daily basis. Does this simply prove that we're childish? If so, why are there tons of mature individuals out there whom I believe, do not have the luxury of time to be reflecting every day?
Maturity, similar to beauty, is subjective. One can believe that jealously is a form of maturity, whilst for others, it is just plain childishness. People are different. We cannot expect everyone to have a synonymous understanding of every single aspect in life. So to what extent can one be deemed as matured enough in handling difficult situations? By gauging on our times of reflecting? Or do those mature individuals have that inherent capability of knowing a handful of 'basic necessities': right timing, self respect and social responsibility?
I have to admit, I don't necessarily reflect on my actions all the time. I have more worries in life (like planning on my first visit to New York, how to save up for my first Manolo Blahnik, emulating Carrie Bradshaw, etc etc. Lol, jk.) that inadvertently shrouded my ability to do so. Yet, when the year ceases and reopens with a new chapter, I often find myself looking at my previous year of activities and performances. Got a hell ton of new bags, got into a relationship, broke up, got sponsorship from my favourite e-commerce, met new friends, etc. With all these experiences, I learned how to grow as a person. I learned that success and joy is what often demarcates the mature ones from the crowd. When you're achieving a sense of accomplishment, others are bound to be envious. When they're envious, they start to bring you down with nasty remarks. And when you're hit with such nasty remarks, you start to question yourself about your achievements.
So how could we stop questioning ourselves of our well deserved achievements? I believe the answer to that is attitude. If we choose to get affected by the nasty responses and implications, we are bound to get tied down by those and thus, giving a stepping stone to our haters. Maturity is a form of attitude. If we are not able to change the attitudes of others, why couldn't we change ours? If we could alter our attitude in seeing things, we can skip our mandatory reflections and still be sufficiently mature.
I've also learned that, in reality, love does not conquer all. Happily forever afters and till death do us parts are, de facto, stories that we concoct to instil hope and faith in ourselves, that maybe one day, we could find our true love out there. Changing yourself to fit into your other halves is not going to work. It is like a special allosteric regulation. There is a factor driving that allows you guys to temporarily coincide. Once that factor is gone, it's back to square one. You'll need to find something similar to the lock and key hypothesis: different but mesh perfectly together.
Love. Do I still believe in it? Yes. No. Maybe. The answer to that is I don't know. Maybe I already am equipped with the answer, just that in the midst of changing and actions and mistakes that we have made, the answer I once had seemed a bit vague. Maybe, that one fine day, a Big, strong wind might drop by and drive those haze away.
And as we put down our egos, displeasure and constant berates, I suddenly had an epiphany. Maybe I wasn't clouded by anything that requires a Big wind to eradicate it. Maybe I was shrouded by something that I have erected myself. Maybe only I have the capacity to clear the fog away.
And that is to hope again.
In our ongoing cynical lives, a little hope is what we need to keep us propelling. Hoping that we could fulfil our dreams. Hoping that we could attain and accomplish our goals. Hoping that true love still exists. Hoping that one day, we could find the love we think we deserve, and that it is sufficient enough for us to write our own happily forever afters and till death do us parts.
So to everyone out there, it is a new year. Leave everything in the past behind and dress yourself well with a new attitude. And to those single individuals out there, continue to hope. Hope that one day, your Mr Big would come by.
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